Refresh your resolve to kick old habits and create healthy new ones
So how are your New Year’s resolutions going now that we are well into 2012? It’s a known fact that our good intentions more often than not evaporate as we get caught up in the endless cycle of our daily lives. If you are trying to break a habit, it’s hardly surprising that it’s difficult to change after many years of repetition. Or if you want to do something new, perhaps it’s fear or self-doubt that’s getting in the way. Elysium Magazine sought some advice from Louise Carroll who discussed taking a different approach based on the principles of CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy) which has been shown to reap long-lasting changes.
CBT is based on recognising and changing your old ingrained ways of thinking – and creating healthier new ones which help you achieve your goals. But you do have to work at it. Understanding a few basic principles is a good first step, together with trying out some simple techniques.
- Work out what is holding you back (such as the assumption that you will fail because you have in the past). Accept that this happened – and at the same time realise that life moves on. You cannot base your current life on past experiences.
- Make a commitment to change – this has to be no less than 100%.
- Monitor the triggers for your old behaviour and plan new things to do instead.
- Recognise the things you say to yourself (your ‘self-talk’) and choose to be more kind to yourself. Accept that you are fallible, but recognise that there’s every chance you can succeed.
You can apply this principle to any area of your life:
1. Lose Weight/Eat More Healthily
- Identify the triggers for eating. Is it boredom, stress or habit? Keep a diary of what you eat and when. Note each time you open the fridge door. Much of this behaviour is automatic. If you become conscious of your habits you can consciously substitute the bad ones with good ones.
- Focus on your long-term goal of weight reduction rather than getting an immediate ‘fix’.
- Recognise if you are in the habit of needing to feel full and make a decision to reduce food intake.
- Adopt new eating strategies – reduce portion size, eat more slowly, leave some food on your plate.
- Make a list of 5 healthy foods that appeal to you to buy each week and banish all the unhealthy foods you have been in the habit of buying.
2. Get Fit
Analyse what has been holding you back – if it is a limiting belief that ‘I never follow anything through’ or ‘I always stop going to the gym even though I’ve joined’ – make a conscious decision to turn this on its head.- Choose to be a person who makes a commitment and sticks to it.
- Be realistic about what you can achieve and plan your fitness so that it fits in with your life.
- Be flexible – if you find you are not enjoying it, don’t give up – try something new.
- If you are flagging, remind yourself that exercise increases your endorphin levels and helps you feel good – as well as toning you up!
3. Quit Smoking
- The way you think about smoking has a direct impact on your success. Approach giving up from a ‘choose to’ rather than a ‘must not’ or ‘ought to’ basis.
- Reinforce your conviction by addressing your self-talk. Repeat to yourself: ‘I am a non-smoker because I choose to be, not because I have to be’.
- Be rational about it – if you think smoking helps you relax, remember that nicotine is a stimulant so cannot induce relaxation.
- Educate yourself about the facts. The benefits of giving up smoking start only minutes after your last cigarette – however, one puff of a cigarette and your old habit will be restored instantly.
4. Learn Something New
- Simply realising that you need a change is a good first step but actually doing something about it involves stepping outside your comfort zone.
- Tell yourself powerfully that this time you are going to do it – join a class, learn a language , learn a new skill. Don’t just think about it vaguely.
- Replace any niggling negative self talk with positive affirmations that you will succeed, you can do it. Doing something that gives you a sense of achievement will boost your confidence.
- Research your new activity and book it. Commit to it. Move forward!
5. Get Out of Debt and Save Money
Look at why you have got into debt. Do you buy things to help make you feel better about yourself? Do certain circumstances lead you to make impulse buys? If you can understand your behaviour and the emotions attached to it, this will help you monitor your spending habits- Set a realistic goal of how much you need to save each month and set bite-size actions to achieve them.
- Take responsibility for yourself and visualise yourself as a person who is in control.
6. Spend More Time with the Family
- To make a difference, it’s not sufficient to just say you are going to do it. Produce a weekly planner to help you allocate your time in a manageable way.
- Pin it on the fridge where it is visible.
- Include a regular slot where you do something special together that takes you out of your regular routine at least once a month.
- Think about what is important in your life – don’t leave it too late.
- Sounds appealing! Work out what is stopping you. Is it fear? Are you seeking perfection and worried that it may fall short of your expectations? Is it realistic – can you afford it or is it just a dream?
- Brainstorm all the places on your wish list and prioritise.
- Write a list of the pros and cons of booking your first trip. This will help clear the way for a positive decision.
The way we interpret things in our lives affects our mental well-being. Become aware of your thoughts, feelings and the world around you. We are often so busy rushing around from one task to the next that we lose sight of what is really important.
- Stress may result from a fear of bad things happening in the future. It is better to accept that life is not perfect and instead of stressing about ‘what if’, to concentrate on ‘what is’. Try thinking of 4 good things about your life each day when you wake up in the morning.
- Learn a relaxation technique and commit to 10 minutes a day. Breathe deeply, feel a wave of relaxation flow through your body, close your eyes, and count down from 10 to 1, releasing tension on each out breath. Visualise a perfect scene, real or imaginary, as if you are really there. Relax, Breathe. Count back up from one to ten. You will feel refreshed and calm.
9. Volunteer
- Research shows that people who give are happier than those who don’t. It can be as little as an hour a week helping an elderly person, or a bigger commitment if you have the time.
- So what’s stopping you? Do you think you might not cope? ‘What if I’m no good at it?’, ‘What if I start and lack commitment’? If so, your negative self talk is interfering with having a go.
- Unless you break through this negative cycle you will hold yourself back in many ways, and deny yourself of fulfilling opportunities in all walks of life.
- Don’t procrastinate, research an opportunity and go for it.
10. Drink Less
- If you want to cut back on your drinking and find it hard, this might be due to your inability to cope with the prospect of breaking the pattern. Recognise the associations ie. boredom, finishing a day’s work, feeling stressed, and divert with new activities ie. Go for a run, turn down the party invite, meditate.
- Think about it in a different way. Instead of thinking the drink makes you feel better, understand that is purely your perception of it. If it is filling in a gap in your life it is up to you to find a solution. Drink merely plasters over the cracks.
- Set yourself a weekly limit and record your achievements. Work out what suits you best – perhaps taking 2 days off drinking or cutting down during the week. Don’t leave it to chance – take control of your behaviour and plan to make it work.
This is great advice to get ahead in what ever aspect of your life you feel you could improve. For more information about CBT and Louise Carroll visit her website: www.louisecarroll.co.uk