Networking as a way of life

 

 

You men know the drill, when we think of networking, most people hyperventilate and get a bit agitated. That’s because they think about walking into a room full of strangers, telling people who they are and what they do, and handing out a few business cards before making a break for freedom. That’s all very well if something good comes of it – but with that concept of networking, probably very little will! So they’ll have traumatised themselves for nothing. Elysium Magazine caught up with Tara Daynes, HR Consultant and Trainer, to get some advice on working the room:

 

To make networking work, firstly we need to think about it differently. It’s not just about working the room – something most of us are less than comfortable with. It’s about actively making professional relationships, developing and maintaining these relationships, and maximising them for the benefit of all parties. Bit difficult to do all that over a couple of hours and a few units of alcohol!

 

 

So networking should be something we do on an ongoing basis – before, during and especially after the room event! As with anything, preparation is key. So before you start, plan your ‘elevator pitch’ – how you tell someone what they need to know about you, and why they need to know it, in just enough lines to stop their attention wandering to the buffet. The important thing here is make it memorable and relevant to them. For example, instead of just telling people I’m an HR and employment law consultant, I tell them that I help organisations improve their business performance through how they lead, manage and develop their staff, thereby getting a better return on their employee investment. Be aware of your own ‘brand’, and think about what you want to be known and recognised for.

 

 

The next step is to be aware of your own personal impact and how you come across to people when they first meet you. Are you a man with a firm handshake, a bone-crushing grip or a clammy palm? What does your body language say – approachable and confident, overbearing and annoying, or nervous and uncomfortable?  If you find it hard to maintain eye contact when talking with people, it can make you look a bit shifty (a good tip is to instead focus just between their eyes instead of eyeball to eyeball – far less intimidating for both of you!)

 

 

 

Once you’re there, working the room can also be intimidating – but it doesn’t need to be! Have a few phrases ready for breaking into conversations, and look for ‘open’ groups where there is a gap between people and they don’t seem to be in intense conversation. To start or interrupt a conversation, “Mind if I join you?” usually works, particularly if you precede it with “You look like a nice friendly person/group!” And remember to vary who you speak to – I frequently go to networking events and see men talking only to other men (in fact clones of themselves, it usually seems!) It may be tempting to only talk to people who you relate to – guys of the same age group or dressed in a similar style – but don’t restrict yourself to that comfort zone or you could be missing out on a lot of opportunities.

 

 

Also have a few phrases for breaking away, otherwise you could end up joined at the hip to one person all evening. Try “Nice talking to you – I need to do some more circulating” or similar. A nice touch is “Do you have anyone you particularly want to speak to , so that if I see them I can point them in your direction?” But avoid saying you’re going to the buffet/bar/loo – they may follow you!

 

 

Exchange business cards, or use your phone to store someone’s details. Don’t just shove your cards at everyone in sight like a Vegas croupier! Simply ask “Are you happy to exchange contact details?” or “Can I give you my/take your card?” It can help to write on the back of people’s business cards useful notes, such as what you talked about or what they’re interested in.

 

 

This is where the big difference between successful and unsuccessful networking comes in – the follow-up! Women tend to be more naturally affiliative than men, so will often form social bonds and suggest a catch-up after an event. Men though tend to struggle a bit more with this, and are more likely to follow up only if there is an immediate business reason.  But there’s no point in having a drawer full of unused contact details, so get in touch with people soon afterwards! Email is the best way as it’s less intrusive. Give them a reminder of who you are, add in some pleasantries, and if you think it’s worth continuing your conversation to see if there are any mutually beneficial opportunities, suggest a coffee at some point. But it may take a while before people are ready to do business with you, so in the meantime, maintain contact and start to add value to the relationship through PIFing – that’s Pass It Forward! Send on bits of relevant and useful information that people may appreciate – news items, websites, introductions to other people etc.

 

 

With modern technology, we can be networking and PIFing all the time – reconnecting with people through email newsletters, Twitter feeds, Facebook pages and other social media etc. It’s also worth using networking organisations and websites such as LinkedIn to build and maintain connections and referrals, get recommendations (a bit like references), pass on information, and use groups to expand your  areas of knowledge and expertise. It means you can keep in touch without people thinking you’re stalking them, but just enough that you stay in their mind!

 

 

Finally, remember to regularly revise and review your networks and how you use them.  What are your contacts for – professional advice, opportunities and expertise, sources of new business, collaboration for new ideas or joint ventures, or social/personal support? How valuable are your contacts, and are you making the most of them? Is there synergy – i.e. do you benefit them just as much? Keep on top of your networks and make them work for you.

 

 

So change the way you approach networking and it could change how successful you are – it’s not just working the room, it’s a way of life!